It’s Not Over ‘Til the Cat Lady Sings.

So, in anticipation of the upcoming mini-expansion and update, here I am again.

Though perhaps my post will be of a slightly more weighty tone than has ever been the norm. Looking back, when I honestly didn’t know what to write about, my posts ended up kinda generic. I hate that. I hate those ‘we did this and did this’ because well, everyone does those things, that’s nothing all that exciting to read about. But that’s sort of what I was resigned to a lot, because I just hadn’t been doing anything else.

So this post will be… in two parts. Both with very similar themes, but in different directions of the theme. Essentially, I wish to set some goals for myself that I will have to work and take seriously to attain, because that will actually be something of interest perhaps to chronicle. As a part of that, I need to decide where I best fit in this game anymore.

For my long term personal goal, I figure there are these options:

• Maat’s Cap, and possibly level SCH in addition as well.
• Obtain a Yagrush (though deciding on this will have to wait until after the update to see how Esuna works)
• Obtain a Gjallarhorn or other relic (choices: Amano, Mjollnir, Kikoku)

For more short term goals:

• Stop being lazy and get a damn Joyeuse
• Level THF to 75
• Unlock Nyzul weapon skills
• Finish Marduk’s gear – possibly by means of having to start a new Salvage group?
• Finish Nashira (goddamn hands)
• BAHAMUT’S STAFF (f@#$#%^@$#^%)

Now, going through this list, and in general just wanting to feel needed and busy in the game, brings up the larger concern of.. where exactly can I best meet these goals.

I have been dissatisfied with TK for quite some time, well over 6 months to a year. The NAs lapsed into a sort of laziness, and we did not do any event very often on a regular basis. We ran Salvage at a decent rate for a while, until things blew up in an odd manner around 3 former members (and good riddance). Then we still did ok, but it wasn’t enough for others, so they split off and formed their own group.. inviting essentially everyone in the LS to go with them except for myself and one other player – though she signed on maybe once a week by that time. So that obviously didn’t exactly help my feelings of goodwill towards the LS. It was impossible to get people to do anything for Limbus, frankly because most everyone had everything they’d wanted – since we did a lot more Omegas than Ultimas and I had a lot of bad luck on AF+1 item lots.

A member I was against joining us ended up doing exactly what I said would happen – did everything with us like crazy, to a point where we depended on him, and then quit. That left us short yet another person (nearly 2, as a relative of his didn’t much care to play as often after he left for quite some time).

I got a job outside the house, and Kaeko went to school, and that cut into everything a lot more. I was too tired to log on and try and putter around for an hour waiting for people to decide something to do, which would take 2 hrs, by which point I’d want to be in bed. I pushed for a schedule, which everyone balked against because it apparently ‘never worked’ – which is partly true. But at the same time, we’d all complain we didn’t do things enough in general, and we always are trying to wait for people to be on to do things, and they never would be, etc.

And then event nights started getting more and more… bizarre. People still wanting sea items and ZNM items and whatnot, and we’d be… camping NMs in La Vaule. Einherjar runs would be at like 3 in the morning on Friday/Saturdays. Changes about camps we were told would happen didn’t happen, so that events got pushed in favor of camping Ixion, much to everyone’s frustration.

And then the Salvage bannings…

So that brings us pretty much to now. We’re growing on the JP side, and basically dead on the NA side. Outside of Limbus and Nyzul (although if last night is any testament, I don’t even know if Nyzul is even plausible….), I do not see how I can continue to do much of anything with TK and not want to quit the game every other day. I barely know our newer members, and frankly didn’t really want any new NA members. We are not a shell for NAs anymore, and all it will do is frustrate them because of our lack of doing anything. The reason to join us is… we actually still camp, and if you want an abjuration or something, you have more chances with us since we camp and fight Odin, or if you want a Ridill, etc. I don’t mind camping, although I do hate how invariably I end up having to go to a camp when I really had had my mind set on doing something else, and camping just fell into the 2 hr time frame I had to play on a particular day.

I wasn’t terribly impressed in Nyzul the other night, when we had a mix of horrible luck on floors with poor choices which basically made it very clear that I really can’t ever go as anything but support, be it WHM BRD BLM or RDM, or we’ll fail. The newer members all seem nice enough and all, but it’s going to be a huge learning curve for a very long time to get to a point where we would work as a group the same as 2 yrs ago. If we even ever reach that point.

So I have the option of either… a) working my butt off to try to organize things with Oreo, on his ‘new’ character that I hate talking to him on because it is the character of one of my best best friends ever in this game who decided to move on, and try to get to know the newer members and help get them up to par, try to get into a good working relationship with some members I haven’t always fully agreed with, and try to help motivate everyone when half the time I don’t have motivation anyway, and probably try to look into recruiting and such again as well, or b) leave the LS and join another that is already well established in everything I wish to do, where I do have a number of acquaintances.. but admittedly has its share of issues and problems too, just like any LS.

Well, obviously one is easier than the other. But it doesn’t mean it’s the best choice either.

I was already unhappy before I got involved with the musical I was in recently, which obviously cut into my playtime. I was already looking at possibilities of leaving, but hated the thought of leaving with long time friends like Kaeko and Oreo and Payu and Saku in the shell. With the Salvage bannings, Payu leaving, and Saku up and deciding to just bail and sell her account, I don’t have much of anything holding me in TK, outside of the respect and regard I have for the JP members (and Oreo <3), but even they know and understand that there’s very little we can accomplish anymore on the NA side, and very limited help they can offer. And the fact that it’s essentially been my home for 4 yrs, and it’s hard to leave, and there’s just that bit that’s like “but I don’t WANT to leave.”

I know it seems an ‘obvious’ decision, but I also feel like I’d be shortchanging myself and others by giving up without even TRYING to get things moving for us again. But it has been so frustrating over the past 2 yrs… to start off being one of the first shells to get some of the really coveted gear from, say, Salvage, and happily anticipating when I get my pieces, etc, to then suddenly watching everyone and their brother get all the pieces we all had wanted at a ridiculous pace. Etc etc..

In any case, I guess I’m just thinking some input would be nice. I have gotten some opinions on the long term goals from people; I just feel like I need some more outside input, people that do or do not know me, throwing in a few cents that might help me think a bit more clearly.

So hi again, all, and hope to see you around. :)